Re-becoming Kiwi

It’s a disconcerting feeling, returning to your home country and not, well, feeling totally at home.  I’ve only myself to blame – I left 24 years ago, first for a break in my architecture degree, then post graduate for a series of career moves in Singapore, Prague, Jersey Channel Islands and Dubai.  Of course I’ve returned for vacations and to see family and friends, but I can’t deny that over the years my Kiwi-ness has diminished.  Incidentally, it didn’t help when returning for vacations when NZ Immigration would look on their computer and come up with comments such as “Been a while since you’ve been back?” or “Long way to come for a short time”.  Helen joked that one day they might take away my Kiwi passport…

• 

• 

• 

• 

My parents were both working in Fiji when they met, they then lived in the UK and travelled “on the continent” (as my mother still glamorously refers to Europe) for a number of years, before driving their Land Rover across The Continent and most of the next continent to Calcutta, then flying the last bit to NZ to start a family.  I think it’s fair to say that travelling and living abroad was in my blood from a young age. Many years later, as the youngest child, I felt quite guilty as I headed off to uni leaving mum alone in the big family house.  But I needn’t have.  She packed up house and headed off backpacking for a year, before again living an expat life in Australia and then Singapore.  She was roughly the same age as I am now, so I totally get it!

More often than not I’ve avoided seeking out other Kiwis during my quarter-century expat life.   There’s been plenty of opportunities – with Kiwi clubs and business associations in most places I’ve lived.  But I just don’t see the point of living overseas and not taking full advantage of enjoying the wide variety of other cultures and people around.  Besides, meeting Kiwis overseas often revolves around talking about the last or next All Black game – this kind of social banter isn’t exactly stimulating and I’ve never found myself much good at it.  Whilst mixing with locals and other expats has expanded my mind, I now see that it’s also diluted my Kiwi-ness over the years.

• 

• 

• 

Kiwis love to travel.  Traditionally Kiwis in their twenties take off for a couple of years on their “Big OE” – Overseas Experience, usually in London, before returning to NZ to start a family and to carry on with their Kiwi lives.  In COVID times, the Kiwi marketing geniuses in tourism NZ have rebranding it as “The Big AE” –  “Aotearoa (the Maori name for NZ) Experience”!  We’ve been making the most of our Big AE, including the past couple of weeks in my home district Hawkes Bay.  I left when I was 17, having to leave due to lack of quality tertiary education in the provinces.  I headed up to “the big smoke” Auckland for university, but “The Bay” will always feel like home.  I’ve got a bit better at catching up with relatives and friends during my last couple of holidays and this trip is no different, catching up with school friends, family friends and relatives.  I guess we all have figures in our lives who’ve supported and guided us at key times in our lives.  I’m fortunate that many people have been kind to me over the years and I found many catch ups very rewarding, reminiscing about old times and sharing stories of our adventures over the years, including our most recent lifestyle change that brought us to NZ.

• 

• 

• 

• 

One of the highlights was returning to the family farm of a good friend from high school.  I spent probably as many weekends on this farm as I did at home and it’s inevitable that my friend’s parents almost became my surrogate ones.  Like past visits, I was quickly put to work helping dock lambs (searing their tails off), drench (a squirt of drugs to combat worms) and ear mark them (ouch- no anesthetic!).  As a vegan, partially for animal rights reasons, it was a rude awakening and interesting to compare my teenage thoughts “it’s the way of the world to get my lamb chops on the table”, to what I now consider to be my more enlightened current view that “the abuse of another species for our own gain isn’t really very nice”.  It was Helen’s first time on a farm and quite shocking seeing the little lambs held in a kind of rack whilst all this was done to them.  We left feeling reassured that choosing to not eat meat is a kind and compassionate choice for the animals.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

We spent a couple of weeks re-visiting old haunts with relatives and friends, including hiking through the redwoods forest where I used to train for cross country whilst at school, going to the local Meeanee Speedway (a real grass roots event), and even simple things like dropping by the local public library where frequent childhood visits set me up as a reader for life.

• 

• 

• 

Regardless of how long you’ve been away, you always retain key characteristics of your upbringing.  Some of these I didn’t even think were unique, but I guess that’s kind of the point of learned cultural behaviours.  Ones that I’m finding useful on this trip are; driving on gravel roads, driving through stock (cows and sheep) and pronouncing Maori place names.  English pronunciation is another matter though – Kiwis pronounce similar words the same, such as bear beer bare, or pear pair pier.  I can’t say “beer” with out Helen making bear-like growling sounds.

• 

• 

The longer I’m back this time, the more Kiwi I’m feeling again.  I’m using outsider sentences like “They drive on the wrong side of the road here” less and less, and becoming very proud of re-becoming Kiwi.

• 

• 

• 

We just crossed from the North to the South island.  You can see one from the other on a clear day and the easy paced journey takes just three hours, through spectacular scenery.  But it also feels like a move away from the familiar, from the North Island.  It almost feels like the start of a vacation!

• 

• 

• 

Follow and like us to be notified of future blogs!

www.facebook.com/ripeningnicely